Hello again everyone! It has been a busy week! I'm trying to fill out the massive pile of paperwork I have, work on homework, and coordinate with everyone in my support group. Also, my first fundraiser event is coming right up...very quickly. I am having a meal and silent auction at church on Sunday so I have been trying to get ready for that. Brenda and I went to get some supplies in Toledo on Monday. Since then I've been dipping pretzels in chocolate and making inside out Oreos. I've almost done an entire jar of pretzels..crazy! I can't complain too much, It is actually a lot of fun to decorate them. I'm making some pretty awesome looking ones to put into the silent auction (because I mean come on who doesn't like chocolate covered pretzels) and freezing some Ten Thousand Villages themed ones for my next fundraiser. I have also discovered something about myself. My mother is absolutely fantastic at dipping inside out Oreos, but I have very little skill in that area. I have to stick with my super cool designs to cover up my clumsy dipping skills. I've also been trying to get the silent auction around...I'm telling you by the time it comes to set up the items I'm pretty sure it will be a surprise to everyone (me included). Besides the goodies I've been working on for the auction, Bri, Carley and I have also been working on a joint project that will be put into the auction titled Prayer Is Central... be looking for that! I know we will also have some really amazing original pieces from some other people as well...but that I'm keeping under wraps. You will just have to show up to see all the cool items.
Wow its all starting to come together. This trip just keeps getting more real the more summer progresses (and my summer class just keeps getting more irritating as well...not a surprise). I'm starting to become a bit apprehensive about the length of time I'm going to be away. It's definitely not enough to stop me from going, not even close, but after a conversation I had with Brenda and little things people having been saying here and there I really began to think about it. I have always been a homebody. I was just as likely....no actually I was probably twice as likely to come home on a weekend to be with my family during school as I was to stay at school with friends. It's not that I didn't like being with my friends...I just really love being home and knowing my family is nearby...or if not nearby at least usually in the same county somewhere lol. The longest I ever went without being home was a summer at Little Eden camp on staff. Even that I can't claim as an entire summer away and without seeing them. I saw Carley during kid's camp, my family during family week and I even went home for a few days to support a friend during a hard time... I saw my family then as well. So thinking back, I really couldn't remember a time I ever went longer than a few weeks without seeing them. I had been prepared for the idea that I wouldn't see them in person for a while, but there is Skype and email and phone calls. I wouldn't be out of touch. I was going to miss things, but it was still ok. Then I started to find out what I was going to miss. One of my best friends got engaged and set her wedding date for early next summer. It is a wedding I never thought I would have to miss (and not the only one I will be missing while we are on the subject- there are at least 2 more I will miss out on). Carley will be graduating. An event I should have known I would be missing, but hadn't even realized until my mom said, "oh no who is going to help me get ready for graduation?" She also still has a homecoming and prom coming up next year. At the Wyse house that means Bri and I get ready to do a gaggle of hair for Carley and her friends...and then there is her senior year of soccer. This may not seem so significant to you, but this is a season I always told myself I was going to document and put into a book for her. Now I won't be around to do that. I'll miss Corey going back to school and another spring break watching him play baseball. I'll miss all of the random phone conversations with Bri and the weekends she just decided to pop home. I'll even miss my parents being parents - grumbling about me organizing their things and my idea of cleaning, going outside or exercising, doing my laundry and helping out around the house - you know parent things. Shopping, teasing, fighting, talking, eating, playing.... I will miss all of these big and little moments with my family.
What really started my worry in earnest though was a comment my mom made when I was talking about Christmas and stockings and trees (yes, I was having a Christmas conversation in the middle of June)...she said something along the lines of 'uhoh, you are going to miss that' to which I, not really thinking it through, said, 'what do you mean? Why would I miss it?' She said 'you are going to be in England silly.' And there started the worry. It's not the trees, lights, stockings or decorations I'm going to miss. It's the part of Christmas that makes you think of your family and smile. It's no one wanting to put together the tree, but everyone wanting to hang up at least one ornament. It's my parents hiding our stockings and everyone teasing me because I have that hardest time finding mine. It's see how many times we can take a goofy picture with those stockings before mom makes us take a normal one. It's dad reading about Christ's birth and mom reading a little children's Christmas story. It's exchanging each other's names and trying to figure out how to all go shopping together without letting your person figure out what you are getting them. It's dinner together (an occurrence far to rare the older we get) and a Christmas movie. It's the long drive to Grandma and Grandpa Stutzman's house to see cousins. It's Christmas eve games and treats as well as Christmas morning gifts and a lunch so big you have to watch old Christmas movies afterwards and fall asleep. It's Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa Wyse and the struggle to corral the Wyse herd. It's eating Grandma's wonderful food, Grandpa praying, and getting to see a family that is so large and spread out we don't see each other as often as I'd like. It's my personal favorite of the whole season...Christmas Eve - Getting to watch the happiness and excitement of everyone around you...strangers and the people you love alike. It's that perfect time of the whole season when the balance between anticipation and excitement is the highest. The gifts are still wrapped, the families have gathered together, everyone is talking and laughing, giddy with joy. It's that time when everyone still has that Christmas hope and celebration lighting their eyes and no one is thinking about putting away decorations or taking out the tree. It is all of this beautiful tradition and happiness I'm going to miss. All of this flashed through my head in a minute and I knew that Christmas this year was going to be a struggle for me. It won't stop me from going...not even that can stop me...but it will be hard.
It is a long time to be away from my family, but it is a decision I would never unmake. Who knows...maybe I'll learn some interesting things about myself that they can't help me find. Besides, I won't be completely alone...that always helps with homesickness. I've learned recently that Kaihle Sauder will also be going to England the same time as me. What are the odds?.....I also have a cousin whose family will be moving to the UK for a couple years. Ironically, we will be closer in distance there than we are here in the United States. I'm hoping that I get to see them during Christmas...that would definitely help any homesickness I have for my family. It is going to be a wonderful and interesting experience that I can't wait for...exciting parts, tough parts and all.
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