Leer vs. Fear

I've told you before that I'm in a choir right?....I know I have....I just ask again for the shock value because if we are all being honest, me included, there is just no picturing me singing in a choir....by choice. Getting up in front of people is just not my thing. I like to observe...always have. But there is something incredibly wonderful about trying new things though...you learn. Sometimes in ways you weren't expecting. Especially when you joined 'just for now' because you didn't want to be left behind and you never really understood music because you were more of an art lover. Joining this choir with my roomies, who enjoy singing and one who studies music, I get a whole different view from them than from my own observations. For example... our upcoming concert has a song in it by John Bell entitled Sing a Different Song... The third verse goes like this...

Love a different love now Christmas is here,
love without condition, love without leer.
Christmas is here, with the humble and poor,
with the shy and unsure,
love a different love. Let Christ be the cure.

Now if you are anything like me you look right at this verse and immediately find something that bothers you. I leaned over during one of our practices and whispered to Rachel, "He should have said fear...it would have sounded better. Leer is just weird." To which she replied surprising me, "I like it." I most likely wrinkled my nose at her which by this point I would be surprised if she didn't know what exactly is going through my head at moments like that... so she continued and said, "John Bell is very intentional about his word choice. Leer is there because it is supposed to be" then she pointed out something else I hadn't noticed - verse 3 was all by its lonesome in a song with 4 verses. The other 3 are all grouped together with the same music but verse 3 has its own music. Why did he do that? The other verses are Sing a different song, shout a different shout, and dance a different dance....but verse three is love a different love. Love was the verse that was singled out. Not that that is surprising to anyone as love is so, so important throughout the Bible - after all it is the greatest of all the fruits of the spirit. But the verse as a whole is surprising. All of it makes sense - loving unconditionally, loving the humble and poor...so on and so forth...its the kind of thing we've heard so many times it is ingrained in our heads and hearts. Except for that one little word...leer...why leer? Why not fear? Loving without fear is a sweet kind of love. Its the kind of lyric you would expect. Its the kind of thing you've heard a million times.  But has anyone ever told you to love without leer? I looked up leer to see just what exactly this verse meant...its definition is 'to look with a sideways or oblique glance, especially suggestive of lascivious interest or sly and malicious intention.' Love at all times...not just when the less fortunate are around you...do not wait until someone turns their back to 'drop the act'....love a different love - love without leer. This idea of love is beautiful! To love and be loved in a way that you know is honest and true -- no leering.  The whole feel of this verse is so different when you look at it knowing its meaning. I look at it differently now that I'm not always trying to replace leer with fear in my head. I think it is very significant that Mr. Bell singled out this verse. Its like looking at a piece of art in a new light...not a way I ever imagined looking at music. But there you have it...trying new things means you learn new things.

So this Thanksgiving I am thankful for many things...joining choir! Learning that I really do enjoy singing. Rachel for making me see music in a new way. Mr. John Bell for making me consider love in a new way. Kaihle for making me laugh. My English family for insisting we have Thanksgiving! My family at home who never makes me feel like I am far away and missing out. My church family which has expanded to include 3 congregations....I am truly and wonderfully blessed this Thanksgiving and I hope you all have a list of blessings of your own!

(a song from our last concert yay!)